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Hercules fines petition against stars, accuses them of stealing Instagram fans. 

-Ishika, Fariha, Tejaswini & Varda

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After the rise in the legendary hairstyle from the movie Tere Naam among people, one can tell that satyagraha would have been an overnight success if only bhai would have been alongside Gandhi ji to endorse khadi. While Bapu couldn’t benefit from the likes of such popular stars, our present day brands surely do. Just a recommendation of a label is all it takes for people to buy its products even if they might have to trade their natural-filtering-units in exchange. So it was self-evident when disappointed audiences left the theatres because they didn’t see Lux Cozi sneaking out of Shahrukh Khan's well toned body every time he went shirtless. A fan in particular also expressed his contempt when his girl wasn’t intoxicated and giddy despite wearing Axe Signature, “There must have been something wrong with her.” The miffed youngster told us. Another gentleman expressed his elation after succeeding in his job interview by reportedly using  Fair & Handsome. “Thanks to this brand, I finally gained the confidence and self esteem to secure a job. ”

The Greek demigod Hercules was the Chulbul Pandey of the ancient groupies looking for the pillar of muscles to worship. Unfortunately enough, his togas were not permissive of the moves with which our policeman incarcerated the villains. But Hercules went all the way up to the Titan Atlas’s domain and held the weight of the entire sky upon his shoulders. So from Facebook friends to Youtube viewers, there is a clear rivalry between our ancient and present divinity. Apollo is jealous of Neha Kakkar, Dionysus and Sanju Baba are known to have a feud over who can chug down liquor faster and papa Kronos is in awe of KJo for his prowess in gobbling up the aspiring talents of Bollywood.

Much like the olden days, the harder and more tragic the quests are for the demigods, greater is their glory and veneration. Similarly, the sadder and pitiful the background of an actor is, more are the numbers of laurel wreaths that he receives. People gladly put their saviours on a pedestal, for everybody loves a sob story.

The Bollywood industry is known for having celebrities with elaborate criminal records who still succeed to have mass fan following. Sanjay Dutt, another messiah of the people, was affiliated with Mumbai Bombers. His naiveness and righteous conscience sadly landed him in jail for twenty months. At least Bollywood realized the jury’s mistake and created the hit film Sanju. The glaring errors of the justice system were corrected as his drug abuse, criminal activities and involvement in prostitution were played off as nothing but mere snags in the road of glamour and stardom. Starry eyed young boys walking out of movie theatres viewed him and his lifestyle as an ideal for themselves. The enigma of being a ‘misunderstood’ personality, whose acts become justified the minute a tragic backstory unfolds itself, is the one that appeals the most to whooping audiences.

The way food sacrifice is to the Greek gods, stardom is for our Celebs. So it wasn’t nonplussing when hordes of fans came forward in order to protect their deity for committing dirty crimes. “I can give my life for Bhaijaan. His lucky bracelet has bestowed success and good luck on me. Going through jail time for his sake is no big of a sacrifice.” Now it is in our hands if we want to keep acting like self appointed bodyguards for these delinquents or change sides and become the Achilles Heel that they keep in mind before committing these atrocities.

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